How to Write an Obituary,

Introduction
An obituary is a death notice. Obituaries are often published in the local newspaper. If the deceased recently moved to a new place, or if the deceased splits the year in more than one residence, you may wish to consider publishing your obituary in more than one newspaper.

An obituary often includes a short biography, information about the family of the deceased, and details about any services that will occur. Obituaries are a matter of local custom and personal preference. As the internet takes over as the way many Americans communicate, many (if not most) funeral homes also publish online obituaries.

As you contemplate writing an obituary, you may opt to browse obituaries you find in newspapers and on the internet. In this manner, you can get ideas about obituary form as well as substance; it is a good idea to start in the place where your obituary will be published. You can speak with friends and family members to get ideas, to obtain and verify details, and decide what information to include. It’s a good idea to allocate one day to gather information and write a draft, and another day (as time permits) to review, revise and complete the effort.

Draft the obituary and review it with the people who are likely to have thoughts about the details it should include. You can fax, email or read the draft to people who may have ideas about what should be included. Sharing this duty might also help the people involved; they can work together with you to properly represent the family and the deceased in the death announcement. It’s a good idea to let everyone who might have an interest know that you are working on the obituary, and to be open to thoughts or input about the contents.

Depending on circumstances, the obituary might be several sentences or several paragraphs. If you are to publish your obituary, it is a good idea to find out about any length limitations early in the process. If you wish to include a photograph, find out whether you have your image in an acceptable format. You will want to publish the obituary a few days before a visitation or memorial service, so check on publication deadlines before you start writing. Enlist the assistance of your funeral director for guidance on any issues that arise – s/he has likely encountered the topic before and probably can help you determine the best course of action.

Following are a few words on common obituary topics:

The Announcement
Include the full name and date of death, and the city where the deceased resides to avoid any confusion about who has died. Avoid publishing a street address for safety and security.

A Short Biography
This section enumerates the high points and landmark events of the life of the deceased. Dates of birth, (most recent) marriage, time in military service, education, and career may be included. It’s a good idea to offer these details in chronological order.

Surviving Relatives
It is common to include a list of family members who precede the deceased in death, and/or to list family who survive the deceased. Such lists may include parents, spouse, children, siblings and grandparents. You might list family members by name, or by number (e.g., 8 grandchildren), depending on space, closeness, and personal preference. Friends are generally not included, although it is perfectly acceptable to mention people with whom the deceased possessed a special relationship. Ask yourself (and others), "Whose feelings will be injured if we don't include them?"

Services & Arrangements
Date, time and location of services for the deceased (funeral, burial, memorial service, visitation, wake, etc.) are often mentioned toward the end of the obituary, along with the funeral home that has been entrusted with making the arrangements. It is a good idea to publish details you wish to announce to the public, while omitting information about family-only activities. The role of the funeral home is to assist the family by fielding questions about the

Memorial Instructions
You can use this section to tell people how to honor the deceased. Many charities will provide special envelopes for donations at the funeral home when the family wishes to honor the memory of the deceased in this manner. Simply add “Memorial donations may be made to….” and the name of the association, hospice or other organization of your choice.

Verify Accuracy
It’s a good idea to insure accuracy of each detail in your obituary. Newspapers usually verify that the funeral home mentioned in the obituary is actually handling the case. Accurate details, proper form, and correct spelling, and sensitively selected content are a matter of respect to the family and to the deceased. Take a moment to consider who might be offended, or feel left-out or otherwise slighted. Well written obituaries honor the deceased and his/her family, while obituaries with errors or omissions in form or content can aggravate or insult them.

Write Your Own Obituary
If you have planned your funeral on a pre-need basis, you understand the gift you are giving to the family members who closest to you. As difficult as it is to lose a loved one, the effort of making at-need arrangements compounds the pain and often overwhelms those who are suffering the most. Why not include an outline of the obituary details you feel are most appropriate in your plan? You may find a certain satisfaction in reflecting on your life as you prepare those closest to you for the future.